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Chaz the Intolerant Chick-fil-A Chicken is a minor character from the talk show Conan. He is a chicken puppet made to promote Chick-fil-A and end homosexuality.
Biography[]
First Appearance[]
Conan O'Brien announces that the Jim Henson Company severed their work relationship with the fast-food corporation Chick-fil-A after the CEO, Dan Cathy, claimed to oppose same-sex marriage. Conan then says that Chick-fil-A released a new chicken puppet called Chaz the Intolerant Chick-fil-A chicken. A curtain opens to reveal Chaz sitting on a brown fence with a Chick-fil-A drink and takeout bag and claims that Chick-fil-A has the best chicken sandwich and there's only one way to love after saying hello to the audience. Chaz then says that the only "pickles" in the Chick-fil-A classic chicken sandwich should be in a guy's mouth claiming it to be in the Bible. He also says that if women want to "toss a salad", that they should try Chick-fil-A's southern chargrilled salad with garlic and butter croutons. Chaz then says that if men want "warm nuts all over their face" they should try the Chick-fil-A hot fudge sundae. He then says that if men want "hot meat stuck between two buns, covered in sauce, the way God managed it to be enjoyed" its Chick-fil-A or the flames of Hell. The curtain then closes on him as he says "eat up you godless sodomites".
Second Appearance[]
After Conan announces that today was Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day, which was created as a counter-protest after the LGBT community began protesting Chick-fil-A after the CEO, Dan Cathy, claimed to oppose same-sex marriage. A curtain opens to reveal Chaz sitting on a brown fence with a Chick-fil-A drink and takeout bag. He wishes the audience a Happy Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day and says two men being together is wrong in the eyes of God. He then says that in Leviticus chapter 18, it says that the "only mouth-watering hunk of meat" a man should put in his mouth is the Chick-fil-A classic chicken sandwich. Conan then says Leviticus does not say that and Chaz responds that it should. He also says that if men "want a bunch of fruits crowding around their nuts with a belly full of protein" they should try their granola yogurt parfait. Conan responds that that is disgusting and Chaz responds by saying he believes civil unions are disgusting. He then says that if women "want to munch on a sweet mound designed by God for pleasure" that they should try their soft-served ice cream cone. He then says that if men want "to be serviced for cash riding their car by a guy they never met before" to try the Chick-fil-A drive through. Chaz then says that its Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve. He then finishes by saying that at Chick-fil-A its cock-a-doodle-doo not "doodle-doo-a-cock".